My name is Svetlana, I am 29. I am 170 cm tall, my weight is
65 kg. I live in a small village in Voronezh region.
I was a very pretty
girl, but boys were afraid to make friends with me as they thought
that I had very strict principles. Certainly, I had my own rules and
ideas, but now everything has changed. Life has changed me and now
my principles are hidden somewhere deep in my soul like a turtle in
it's shell. One scoundrel has spoiled and destroyed all my life, his
constant rows when he was drunk changed three years of my family life
into the hell. But I managed to stop it and now I have been alone
for four years.
I thought that
I would be able to recover, to find myself, but my mother-in-law started
saying dirty things of me. I have survived that, I live and hope that
I will find my Love. But everything is in vain: our village is very
small and all honest men are married, and there are only those left
who want a woman for a night, but I do not need them.
I am not a saint,
but I neither smoke nor drink, and look pretty. I have a seven-year-old
daughter, her name is Tatyana. But I have not met anybody yet who
would care for me and my daughter. My faith has disappeared. There
was a moment when I did not want to stay alive, only my daughter prevented
me from committing suicide. But I feel lack of forces and a strong
pressure of my solitude. Can honest people and fair relations have
disappeared?
Someday I was
young, naive and excited, I believed in my Destiny and Love, I hoped
and waited for Him, my only love. But I am still alone and that is
very depressing and hard. I live, study, listen to music, read books,
look at the sky, love flowers and dancing. But each spring is not
for me. You see, some time ago I was courageous in my dreams about
Him. I felt sure that he was to be manly, generous, kind, tender,
sincere and strong. I may seem you a strange person believing in some
ideals and very romantic. I love listening to falling leaves in autumn
and to the rain outside. I like sunsets, stars at night, slow dances
and tender tunes, Russian romances and books by Remark, Sagan, Tchekhov,
Bunin, Lermontov and Turgenev. I like flowers, Russian nature and
love poems. I feel old-fashioned. My inner world is not filled with
harmony, especially lately.
I have been waiting
for my Love very patiently and for a very long time, and in my dreams
he is openhearted and brave, reliable and faithful, he loves kids
and he does not feel ashamed to be noble towards a woman. And I believe
that real men still exist. They say that you are loved not because
of something, but regardless of everything. You see, people become
simpler and more stupid without love. I start feeling this slow death
– loosing emotions and feelings. Nobody wants me with all my ideas,
feelings and crazy dreams. My immense tenderness and desire to love
have drowned in the ocean of indifference and hypocrisy. My voice
can not be heard in this world.
I do not like
to be sympathized with and I do not complain. I should live decently,
remembering that nothing can be turned back. Love is a gift of the
Heavens, it is the only thing that can prevent you from being cruel
and indifferent and of perishing in this crazy world. But there is
still a ray of hope in my heart. REAL MEN! If you exist, please, do
not let my hope disappear. If you feel like answering me, you may
write in Russian or German, and I speak English a bit.
