Almost every night
before falling asleep I talk to God (or some other superior forces,
which control our lives) and ask him to make me fall in love. It's
so dull and sad to go to a cold bed alone, without a soft good night
kiss, a warm hug and a quiet tickling loving whisper in my ear. Wistful
hopes!
How wonderful
it would be if I were flying on the wings of love and had a man to
care for, to wait for him to come back home from work, to cook dinner
for him and admire the pleasure with which he devours it. But what
if my love would be unanswered? What if I would not be loved back?
Then I correct myself and start asking God to send me a mutual love.
I want it to be beautiful like in a movie - passionate meetings, dinners
in candlelight, long walks hand-in-hand… How happy I would be
if he loved me like no one ever loved and gave me flowers not only
a special occasion, but just because I exist in this world and I am
with him…
In the morning
I wake up (always self-pitying for not being able to sleep a little
longer, as I am not an early bird), switch on music and dance from
bathroom to the kitchen getting ready to leave for work, having forgotten
about my dreams. I have higher education and work at a bank (I live
in Chelyabinsk, Russia),
so every day I have to pretend to be a business-lady, smart and strict.
Sometimes I get so tired of clients, impatient and occasionally extremely
dull and heavy or bluntly arrogant. But they say"the client
is always right", so I cannot help it and have to please them.
This is my job, isn't it? But it would be so much better instead of
that to find myself at home, in front of a TV set, with some needlework
in hands… I so much enjoy knitting, sewing, stitching and other
handcrafts. Or I would gladly go to some disco with friends, lower
a mug of beer and dance through the night.
Anyway, my life
isn't that bad. I like my job and most of clients are nice to talk
to and I meet them like buddies, I have great colleagues and good
friends. On the weekends we go out to a movie or a some club, or drive
to the country for a picnic. I must mention, that I have a wonderful
mom, who I love very much and with whom we have excellent relationship.
I have a great brother, whose daughter is my niece and adorable pet.
Then, every year I have a vacation. It's so miraculous to go to some
other country and breathe the air of its culture and admire its traditions.
I've been at a
Spanish Corrida. Some might think that it's cruel, and I cannot say
that I liked it at first time. But later I understood its nature and
changed my mind. It's a show, a dance, a fight of two males - a man
and a toro, each trying to gain the mastery and prove superiority.
Then what an amazing powerful music! At last, it's simply beautiful.
And Turkey with its Turkish sauna which makes you feel a completely
different person. Life is wonderful, but falling asleep I still dream...
There are a lot
of men around me, as I am an attractive 25-year-old woman (born February
7, 1977) with a rare for Russia name - Lada. This is an old
Slavic name of Goddess of love and marriage, meaning"loving".
I am 164 cm, weigh 56 kg, with big brown eyes, long black hair and
a charming smile. I cannot complain on my figure, but I still make
a point to keep fit with the help of dancing and exercising.
I am very sociable,
and make friends easily. Even with my limited English I could get
along with people abroad very well. I am an open and honest person,
don't like lie and hypocrisy. My mom says that it's my misfortune
as I lack so-called feminine cunning, I lay bare my heart before people
without thinking that they can hurt me and make use of my openness.
I believe in people but unfortunately they don't always answer my
expectations.
I have a lot of
male friends, yes, just friends, nothing more. I like talking to them
and they seem do too. We find a lot of themes for communication and
often they tell me such things which they don't even discuss with
other men. Why don't I marry one of them? There is no sparkle, no
chemistry, there is no feeling that it's mine and nobody's else. They
are just friends and colleagues.
Maybe you are
the one, my only man, who'll understand my original nature, will make
my dreams come true and take me in your strong and tender arms to
hold me till the end of our days. I am waiting for your letter (in
English or Russian) and hope that you are my Mr. Right.
E-mail
available
posted in
August 2002
updated in November
2002
