What
is body language?
Copyright
(C) 2006 Elena Solomon, author of 12
Simple Rules Those
days everybody talks about body language - performance experts, life coaches,
gossip columnists and dating gurus. But
do you know what body language is? The
dictionary gives this definition to 'body language': "The gestures, postures,
and facial expressions by which a person manifests various physical, mental, or
emotional states and communicates nonverbally with others." I
have been interested in body language for years, and after reading a few dozens
of books, all you need to know can be summarized in 4 simple points: 1.
Body Language Is A Form Of Communication Whether
you realize it or not, your body sends unmistakable signals to people around you.
You DO communicate VOLUMES of information about yourself with your posture, face
expression and position of your arms and legs. You do it ALL THE TIME. In
other words, before you even open your mouth, the people around you have already
made a certain opinion about you - and as you know, first impressions last. Body
language accounts for 55% of your communication with the people you actually talk
to (and nearly 100% of your communication with the people you don't know yet).
The other 45% of your interactive communication is the VOICE TONE and ACTUAL WORDS.
The words themselves account for only 7% of your communication. All
in all, your body language and the tone of your voice make up a whopping 93% of
your communication with other people! This
means that HOW you say it is 13 times MORE important than WHAT you say. Most
people are spending all their time thinking of WHAT to say. While they could have
learned only once HOW to say it - and say nearly anything with grandiose success. What
to know how?
Read on. 2.
There Is OPEN Body Language and CLOSED Body Language The
definitions are transparent: 'open' body language makes you look like an open,
accepting and friendly person, and 'closed' body language makes you look reserved,
distant and unwelcoming. When
you want people to be attracted to you, use open body language. When you want
people to go away, use closed body language. It's
THAT simple. 3.
OPEN Body Language Means NO Crossing, Covering or Hiding Open
body language is easy to master: look them in the eyes, don't cross your arms
or legs, don't cover your body, and don't hide your palms and eyes. That's
it! This is not
too complicated, is it? Let
me break it down into pieces for you: -
LOOK THEM IN THE EYES: maintain eye contact at all times during your conversation.
Looking people
in the eyes is the most important part of the open body language. It has been
scientifically proven that long gazes evoke the release of the same hormones that
are produced when we are in love - they will feel attracted to you and won't even
know why. - KEEP
YOUR PALMS OPEN: Keep your hands on the sides of your body; don't hide your hands
in your pockets and don't sit on them. Don't
fold your arms or clench your fists. Don't cover your body with your arms. Don't
grab a drink or handbag with both hands. Don't touch your face, ears or neck -
this shows insecurity and anxiety. If
you need to hold something in your hands, hold it with ONE hand only and keep
it to the side, so your arm doesn't cover your body. If the conversation is going
to be longer than a couple of replicas, put down anything you hold. Get a shoulder
bag to keep your hands free at all times. -
KEEP YOUR LEGS UNCROSSED: Don't cross your legs on any level. Keep them apart.
- TURN YOUR BODY
TOWARDS THEM: Turn your whole body to face them. Point your feet towards them;
turn your torso face-to-face, so the angle between you and them is minimal. -
STAND TALL: You appear more confident and assured when you do. -
REMOVE BARRIERS BETWEEN YOU AND THEM: Don't put chairs, or glasses, or anything
else between you and the person you are talking to. Keep it open. -
SMILE EASILY: There is a world of difference between smiling easily and smiling
all the time. Smiling
all the time means you are feeling tense and trying to cover it up. Smiling easily
means you feel comfortable and can open up into smile any time you want. If
you tend to smile all the time when meeting strangers, try to deliberately DON'T
smile. Look them in the eyes, and keep a friendly, tall, and open posture - but
DON'T SMILE. When you master that, start smiling after a minute or two in your
conversation. Start
practicing open body language with shop assistants and bank tellers: they are
PAID to be nice to you. Notice what a difference it has on your communication. 4.
CLOSED Body Language Means Crossing, Covering or Hiding Sometimes
you don't want to attract certain people; this is what you need to do in such
cases: - Don't
look them in the eyes;
- Fold your arms or hide your hands in the pockets;
-
Turn your body away from them;
- Cross your legs and point your feet away from
them;
- Put barriers between you and them;
- Frown, or smile all the time
a strained smile. This
will make them feel uncomfortable and they will try to avoid you. You
see, body language is not complicated at all. In
any social situation, you can see how the people around you feel. Most of them
will display 'closed' body language - and you know what does it mean, they feel
uncomfortable and apprehensive. Which
means that if you display the 'open' body language, you will be irresistibly attractive.
They won't know why but feel drawn to you. People usually describe it as, "You
have something special about you", or "a presence". If
you start consciously 'open' yourself to other people, you will notice the change
in your communication almost immediately. Open body language makes you appear
more approachable and trustworthy. It will also make you feel more comfortable
and relaxed in any situation. Remember,
your body language tells MORE about you than your words. Use
it to your advantage! ABOUT
THE AUTHOR: 
Elena Solomon is a dating coach.
Her
latest book "12
Simple Rules" became #1 'Love & Romance' bestseller in the leading
ebook distribution service in just ONE WEEK after the release. It shows you exactly
how you can use body language and other scientifically proven techniques to become
more successful in dating and love. Don't
read this book if you want to keep your life just the way it is.
http://www.12SimpleRules.com/
| 